Contactable
by allonsysilvertongue
Summary: Lucifer gets a phone and texts Chloe. [A collection of one-shot involving Lucifer's adventure with technology and social media]
1. Contactable

_Here's my second one-shot attempt for Lucifer! :)_

* * *

 **Contactable**

It is the doctor's idea.

Personally, Lucifer never thought it was necessary but Dr. Linda Martin has a point. He is difficult to reach for her to reschedule appointments. Lux is connected by phones, of course, but he is not _always_ there in the afternoons, contrary to popular belief, nor is he often at his Penthouse either.

After all, he is a consultant to the LAPD now. He has a job which takes him away from Lux and keeps him busy.

His job….

Lucifer smirks. Having a job that does not involve him lording over Hell and dishing out torture makes him feel good about himself… makes him feel _normal._

And normal people have phones on their person that they take with them everywhere they go. Even to the washroom which he finds quite disturbing.

So he gets one. Since he has one now, he decides that Maze should too, if only to fully immerse themselves with the experience of living on Earth. It has nothing to do with the fact that getting Maze a phone is a potential for him to annoy her further.

Owning a phone proved not to be a mistake. He quite enjoyed it.

As he soon learnt, there are numerous applications on the phone for him to download from boring things that tell him of the weather to games that pits him against Maze. Those are always fun. Maze is always far too competitive for her own good.

The device even has a voice recognition function. Imagine his surprise.

"Call Maze," he instructs once.

Much to his glee, he discovers truly amusing videos of human stupidity on the Internet and their obsession with videos of cat left him snorting. Such contemptuous creature and yet humans seem to have a soft spot for them. He finds the porn eventually.

However, it takes Maze snatching his phone away for him to set a password.

It doesn't take Lucifer long to set one. He chooses a word he can easily remember, nothing that has to do with his birthday or anything equally predictable but something he enjoys.

Carnal, with a capital 'C'.

He chuckles to himself.

It is only natural now that he has a phone, he wants to tell the detective of it. He cannot wait to tell her that if she is to drive off and leave him behind at some suspect's house, he will have no problem at all calling an Uber.

Lucifer is just about to text when he realises that, of course, they have never exchanged number before. It is always her contacting him to alert him to a new case but he has never tried to call her.

Well, now that he is easily contactable he shall rectify that problem.

It isn't difficult to get her. His call to the station solves the problem and with her number in his phone, he saves her contact – The Detective. While he is at it, he saves the number for Detective Douche, too.

Then he sends Chloe a text. A simple one, really.

 _Detective_.

He waits, a little excited to know the detective's reaction to his almost ambiguous text.

 ** _Who is this?_**

Lucifer grins. His finger is already sliding to unlock his phone to type a reply. He sends her the emoji – purple horned devil – with an accompanying text that says, _"Yours truly."_

For a while, he stares at the emoji. What is it with humans and their obsession with the devil having horns? He doesn't even understand why it has to be purple. The last time he checked he is all flesh and torn skin and bloodied which makes him _red._

 ** _Lucifer! Finally did the sensible thing and bought a phone. You bought it, didn't you?_**

 _Have I ever stolen anything?_

 ** _Come down to the precinct,_** he reads her text. ** _There's a case._**

The detective is always all business. Still, it will be rude to leave her hanging so he replies with yet another emoticon, a thumbs' up this time.

If she was impressed, Chloe doesn't show it but Lucifer chuckles at the look on her face when he tells her his password. She draws the line and confiscates his phone when he facetime Maze to show her around the murder scene.

"Lucifer, this is a crime scene," the detective hisses. "I'll give you back your phone when you start behaving more appropriately."

"Now, Detective," he says with an easy going smile, "have you ever known me to be appropriate? Please, may I have my phone back?"


	2. Twitter

_I've decided to add on to this with random one-shots of Lucifer with social media._

* * *

 **Contactable: Twitter**

They have been interviewing employees on this floor for the past half an hour – well, it was mostly the detective asking her mundane questions while he occasionally interrupts to ask his favourite question about their desires – and Lucifer is growing increasingly bored by the minute.

They already have an idea on who the suspect might be having gathered that the suspect has a distinctive tattoo he only recently had inked on his skin.

From Google, Lucifer discovers the address of the parlour and that the artiste takes pride in not repeating his design on his customer which means, their suspect is the only one with that particular tattoo.

He doesn't want to brag but he does a better job _digging_ through the World Wide Web than the detective. At times, he laments the fact that her phone is wasted on her; s much potential on that small device that simply goes to waste because Chloe prefers to _ask_ around instead of simply just... going to Google.

"Detective -"

She holds up a finger to silent him, her attention never wavers from the woman she was currently questioning.

Lucifer taps his hand against his thigh impatiently. He waits and decides that they are wasting time. Taking his phone from his pocket, he begins to type.

"I will just send it out, shall I?"

 _That_ caught her attention.

"What – send what?"

Her gaze flits towards the phone in his hand before she takes a peek to read the 140 character description of the suspect.

"Lucifer, no!" Chloe glares down at him. "You are not, under any circumstances, posting that on your Twitter!"

"But, Detective - "

"No, never. I would have thought that you understand police procedures by now and that - "

"Ah," he chuckles good-naturedly, "but you're forgetting that I am _the_ devil and I have _followers._ "

"Method to the very end," Ella winked.

Chloe on the other hand seems sceptical so to prove his point, he shows her the phone, lazily pointing towards the number of Twitter followers he has.

"I know," he nods with a smug smile, "quite shocking, isn't it? How many followers do you have, Detective?"

"Irrelevant."

"Hardly," Lucifer counters. "My followers can be of help, Detective. All I have to do is send out this tweet and wait. Someone will point us in the direction of our suspect. That is when we go after him and then he will be punished accordingly. It is all quite easy, I must say."

"That is not how things are done, Lucifer."

"Boring," he mocks. "Detective Douche," Lucifer turned towards Dan, a grin on his face, "surely you of all people understand my reasoning?"

"Nah."

"Of course not," Lucifer mutters. "Detective Decker, just this once, we should try _my_ way. I assure you that I can get that trending and voila! We can take our suspect down."

She lifts both hands up in exasperation.

"No, Lucifer, for the last time, we're not taking anyone down we're taking him _in_ ," Chloe pinches the bridge of her nose. "Posting about an ongoing investigation on social media is inappropriate much less getting it trending."

"Yes, I have heard that before," he says. "I have been accused of it by you - repeatedly."

"Then you should learn to behave a little more appropriately."

"Can't, I'm afraid," Lucifer tilts his head to smile at her.

"We don't cut corners, Lucifer," Chloe says quietly, her gaze sliding to Dan before addressing him once more. "Are you coming to the tattoo parlour?"

"Oh, very well," he concedes, "I shall not send out that tweet... for _your_ sake."


	3. Email

**Contactable: Email (Event Reminder)**

Lucifer quickens his pace and flashes a smile at the officer exiting the precinct before hurrying over straight to Detective Decker's desk.

"Detective," he calls out for her. "I have something of interest to show you."

Chloe looks up, a little curious.

He perches himself on the edge of her desk to face her and clasps his hands in front of him. He does all this with a smile on his face.

"I am aware that you can be quite annoying but this takes the cake," he starts and unlocks his phone to show five unread emails from Google Event. "My email is filled with invitation from you for _your_ meetings… and events that are set by you."

He waits for an explanation with a raised eyebrow.

"You should read those emails," Chloe rolls her eyes in annoyance. Now that she has ascertained the fact that there is no emergency, she goes back to typing on the keyboard. "You'll know that those are for you, too."

"How so?" Lucifer asks. "It has nothing to do with me. As I've said, this is your calendar. Did you sync it wrongly, Detective?"

"No, Lucifer," she holds out her palm and when Lucifer hands her the phone, she clicks on an email. "There is a meeting scheduled today at 3.00 pm with the owner of the restaurant where the murder took place. It's a meeting that _both_ of us will have to attend, so yeah, I sent you an invitation so that you'll know."

He blinks and reads the email.

"I'm afraid I must decline," he tells her casually as he clicks on the 'No' function to indicate his non-attendance. "I have an appointment with Dr. Linda."

"Reschedule her," Chloe instructs. "This is important. He's agreed to meet us for us to have a look at the CCTV recording of the premises. This was confirmed this morning."

"You should have informed me earlier," Lucifer argues.

"I tried calling you, Lucifer, but it went to voicemail so I did the next logical thing and sent you that invitation directly to your email. I am making your life easier here," Chloe gestures to his phone. "Look, I even sent an invitation to you for Trixie's concert. Once you click on 'Yes', your phone will store it in your calendar and you can set a reminder."

"Why on earth would I even grace an event filled with children _singing?_ "

"I can't believe you," Chloe shakes her head. "Maze will be going."

"Good for Maze. Now, Detective, if I were to reschedule with Dr. Martin for this afternoon, do I get to decline the invitation to your child's concert?"

Chloe purses her lips into a line.

"For someone so attached to his phone, I'm surprised that you have no idea how Google invitation works."

"I'm surprised that _you_ know," Lucifer mocks.

* * *

 _Reviews?_


	4. Snapchat

**Contactable: Snapchat**

In a fit of annoyance, Detective Decker had ordered him to sit in the corner and wait for her. Looking slightly off-put, he joined Trixie, who was waiting for her father, on the bench in the precinct.

It started when he caught the little girl giggling to herself, her phone camera pointing towards him.

"What is amusing you so, small human?"

He feared that the child might have contracted some kind of illness or curse. It wouldn't be the first time that he had seen someone in an uncontrollable fit of giggle. His sister once thought it would be hilarious to make Amenadiel suffer through it for half a day straight.

"I think you look very pretty in a flower crown," Trixie smiled up at him sheepishly.

His brows knitted together in confusion. "Come again?"

She turned the screen of her phone towards him. She had snapped a photo of him in a blue flower crown.

"Oh," Lucifer crooned, pleased by what he saw. "Indeed, I am."

It made the girl laugh and encouraged by his reaction, she declared, "Let me take another!"

He let her and when she showed it to him, Lucifer snorted.

"I very much doubt Father would agree with that image of me. Having a halo on top of my head… That's not the image of the Devil."

Trixie tilted her head, thinking it through and when the realisation of what he meant dawned on her, she grinned.

"It's okay, Lucifer. I read that the Devil was once an Angel! I don't think you're bad so you're _always_ be an angel to me. And angels have halos!"

Lucifer blinked at that statement. He doubted that anyone else would agree with the child. He was damned to be associated with every despicable act of evil that exist in the world.

"You are truly naïve," he shook his head.

"What's that mean?"

"Ask your mother," he plastered the grin on his face. "What are these anyway?"

"The name of the app is Snapchat. Everyone in school has it. Remember when you first met me in school… The bully was using a snapchat account to make fun of me?"

"Yes, I remember," Lucifer nodded. "Does she still bother you?"

"No," Trixie grinned. "I have you to thank for! Anyway, these are filters," she went on to explain and began showing to him the different designs. "This one… You'll have to do it with a friend. Let me show you."

His brows shot up in amusement when he realised that the filter Trixie was showing him was that of an Angel and Devil.

"Fitting," he mocked when Trixie was bathed in bright light and a halo while his background was that of a burning flame and horns on his head. "But, I assure you, I do not have horns."

He allowed the girl to download the application on to his phone and as he waited for Detective Decker and Detective Douche in the precinct with Trixie in the seat next to him, he played around with the filter.

His bark of laughter drew the attentions of the two detectives but since he was sitting in his own corner, out of trouble, they soon ignored him.

Trixie, on the other hand, peered into his phone and let out another amused giggle when she saw a video of her father, hands on his hips and a frown on his face, with the dog filter.

"What do you think?" Lucifer asked.

"You're funny."


	5. Instagram

_Happy New Year, Deckerstar fandom!_

* * *

 **Contactable: Instagram**

The New Year's Eve dinner party at the Deckers' household was grand. Penelope Decker made sure of it. The family's oak table held a sumptuous array of food.

His lips spread into a wide grin when Chloe set his plate before him, her fingers brushing gently against his own. She did the same for Trixie, her mother followed by Ella, Doctor Linda, Maze and Detective Douche before taking her seat across from Lucifer.

"Shall we?" Ella asked.

"Oh, my dear, not yet," Penelope laughed lightly. "We have a family tradition."

"Oh, do tell," Lucifer crooned, leaning forward slightly to show his interest.

"We each share our hopes for the coming year. We go around the table," Chloe muttered and it was clear this was the last thing she wanted to partake in. "I really don't mind if we skip it this year, Mum. We've got guests and I'm sure they're not – "

"Ah, ah," Lucifer interrupted. "A tradition is a tradition."

The radiant smile Penelope tossed in his direction was enough to make Chloe rolled her eyes. It took a while before everyone had their say.

"Finally," Chloe declared, relieved that it was over. Sharing hopes and dreams was never one of her strongest suit, after all. "Let's all help ourselves to – "

"Hold on! Wait a minute," Lucifer requested with urgency in his voice. He stood up. "Just one second, please."

The pairs of curious eyes on him did nothing to deter him from pulling out of his phone from his pocket.

"No phones at the dinner table," Doctor Martin reminded.

"I am aware but this is important," Lucifer countered distractedly.

Unlocking his phone, he easily navigated the home screen to access the camera function.

"What are you doing?" Chloe hissed discontentedly and kicked him under the table to get his attention.

"Just one minute, Detective."

Lucifer positioned his phone above the spread of food so that he would get a bird's eyes view for his camera. His height certainly worked in his favour.

"Lucifer…" Chloe called out his name in warning.

He recognised the tone of her voice. It was the same tone she used when he did something unacceptable during investigation.

"Are you taking a photo of what we're having?" Ella asked.

At least she was unfazed by it. _That_ deserved a coffee treat from him.

"Yes, I am, indeed," Lucifer grinned, "before all of you glutton ravish it."

"Why?" Dan asked, impatiently.

"Detective," Lucifer took his eyes off his phone briefly to look at Chloe before focusing his attention back on the screen, completely ignoring Dan. "If you don't mind, please remove your hand from the table and off my frame. Your hand is ruining my aesthetic."

Chloe exhaled loudly.

"If you had gone for a manicure, as I had suggested, I would have considered letting your hand stay but alas…"

He heard Chloe growled under her breath but wisely ignored her.

"Why do you need a photo?" she demanded.

"For my Instagram, of course!" he said good naturedly with a charming smile. "Everyone has it. Even the human child," he nodded in Trixie's direction. "I'm cool, am I not, small human?"

"Definitely!" Trixie nodded in enthusiasm before turning to her parents. "You both never wanted to install it. Lucifer and I follow each other on Instagram!"

"I have an account, too," Ella chimed in.

"It's stupid," Maze countered. "It's just photos."

"Wait a minute," Chloe sputtered. "Trixie did you say you… Unfollow Lucifer this instance. If I know him, which I like to think I do, it would likely be filled with inappropriate posts."

Lucifer chuckled in obvious amusement. "You hurt me so, Detective."

"I think it's time we monitor closely Trixie's social media activities," Dan frowned, looking at his daughter pointedly.

"Oh, don't worry, Detective Douche, I can assure you that your child is quite fine, nothing that should set alarm bells ringing in your head. Her Instagram posts are quite boring I must say – very PG13. So are her Snapchat stories."

"You watch my Snapchat stories?" Trixie exclaimed, her eyes widened in awe.

"Yes," Lucifer nodded. "I thought you would have known that. You are aware that you are able to know who among your friends viewed your stories? Oh! Is that something that you didn't know? My, my, the teacher has become the student."

Chloe blinked in surprised.

"Has it ever occurred to you that Lucifer and Trixie would ever bond over social media?" she whispered out of the corner of her mouth to Dan.

"Never," Dan admitted.

"At least he isn't throwing dolls across the room, expecting her to fetch it and hoping that _that_ would keep her occupied."


End file.
